101 Dalmatians musical coming to New York

Do you know the old show business adage that goes “never work with children or animals”...? You do? Good. Because someone doesn’t.
Rock Of Ages, sleep well. My scorn has a new target.
A musical version of 101 Dalmatians – called, appropriately enough, The 101 Dalmatians Musical – will play the WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden from April 6 to April 25, 2010, after beginning a national tour in Minneapolis on October 13, 2009. The musical is being produced by Magic Arts and Entertainment/Tix Productions, Troika Entertainment, and Luis Alvarez. Is anyone else troubled by the absence of the word “Disney” in that list? You’re not alone.
Four-time Tony award winner Jerry Zaks will direct, the book was written by BT McNicholl (Billy Elliot, Spamalot), and the music will be composed by… (yes. Yes. YES!!...) Dennis DeYoung, the former lead singer of STYX. (Wait… Does that mean they can advertise the show with the phrase “From the people that brought you Rock Of Ages?”…)
According to the official press release, the show will feature stage actors and “15 real Dalmatians.” Ummm… So, why isn’t the show called The 15 Dalmatians Musical? I have to admit: seeing 101 live Dalmatians on stage would be a really cool theatrical spectacle. 15 Dalmatians?... Not so much. More like, here’s a musical, and oh, they have some dogs in it…
In all fairness, the press release points out that, of the fifteen Dalmatians, “many of which” were “rescued from animal shelters… and given a new lease on life with this starring role.” I think saving animals from a shelter is a great thing, and I don’t mean to make light of animal neglect, but… That statement makes it sound like they wouldn’t have saved the dogs if they couldn’t act. Maybe there’s a better way to word that, guys?
Also in the press release, director Jerry Zaks had this quote: “We felt it was very important to accurately portray the look and feel of the original book – which tells the story from the dog’s point of view – in a way that translates to the stage. Humans will be presented in a heightened form of dress and scale so as to appear larger than life, and the actors who play the animals will thus seem more human than their humans.” Ummm… Shouldn’t that read: “the actors who play the animals will seem more animal than their humans?...” Why would actors portraying Dalmatians want to seem human?
I get the part about actors portraying the Dalmatians. Soooo... what are the real dogs portraying again?
Zaks continues: “As for the lovable Dalmatians, they will have no ears, no paws – but rather a clever use of costumes in a black and white palette that will immediately set them apart from the human characters.” Oh, okay… So, what you’re saying is: they won’t look like Dalmatians. They’re just going to look like people in formal wear. Gotcha. And, a “black and white palette” separates them from humans? Because humans never wear black and white? This is New York, Jerry. Your entire audience is probably dressed in a “black and white palette.”
But, the quote from the press release that really sticks out to me is from composer Dennis DeYoung. Quoth DeYoung: “As in days of old, musical theater music should aspire to be relevant both in and out of dramatic context. With that in mind, it might be time to start teaching your dogs to sing.” Ooo-kaayy... I’ve been staring at that quote all day and it still makes no sense to me. The dogs aren’t actually singing, remember? And, why does my dog need to be able to sing if he’s not in the show? And, is he implying that dogs have to sing for something to be relevant? I honestly have no idea what he’s talking about.
This reminds me of the STYX episode of Behind The Music. (If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and find it.) It’s told in two parts: one, with Dennis DeYoung talking about how amazing STYX was, and the other, with the rest of the band, saying things like “I just couldn’t write any more songs about robots,” before cracking up.
Or, to look at it another way: maybe not every Disney cartoon needs to be turned into a stage musical. What do you say?

Author: Michael Brandt

Michael Brandt is an Examiner from New York. You can see Michael's articles on Michael's